How to listen effectively?
That is a question everyone is asking. But firstly, why not ask yourself this question,
do you Hear or do you Listen?
Everyone hears but not everyone listens. Often many mix both verbs up, but the fact is that listening means to pay attention and make an effort to hear something.
Listen
/ˈlɪs(ə)n/
Give one's attention to a sound.
· Take notice of and act on what someone says; respond to advice or a request.
· Make an effort to hear something; be alert and ready to hear something.
· Used to urge someone to pay attention to what one is going to say.
Listening is an active behavior consisting of hearing, understanding and remembering what is said. Being a good listener is to take part in the conversation, replying by providing ideas and questions to keep the conversation flowing. You want to say enough to add something new, but not so much that you obscure the other party.
Let’s recall the conversations and meetings you have in the pass, time and effort could have been saved if people had listened the first time. How many times did information have to be repeated, or questions that have to be answered again? Not listening costs us valuable resources and might even affect relationships between different parties.
How to listen effectively?
1) Focus on the speaker – Focus on the one speaking and not allowing yourself to be distracted by the environment or your own thoughts and concern.
2) Show interest – Show that you are listening by appearing interested, leaning slightly forward, nodding occasionally and saying “uh-huh” at intervals.
3) Find Interesting aspects – Try to find some aspect of the speaker’s talk that genuinely interests you.
4) Eye contact – Make and maintain eye contact, occasionally breaking it so the speaker doesn’t feel uncomfortable
5) Mirror – You should subtly mirror the other person: smile, nod and laugh when they do.
6) Ask – Ask pertinent questions that show you’re following the speaker’s train of thought.
Here are some sentences that you can use:
- “That’s interesting – Tell me more.”
- “Can you give me an example?”
- “So what you’re saying is…?”
- “What happened then?”
- “Well, but what happens if…?”
- “Wait a minute, what’s……?"
- “So what do you think will happen next?”
7) Summarize – Repeat or summarize the other person’s key points by rewording it them.
8) Pause – Leave a little pause after the speaker ends the sentence, in case they have something to add. Many listeners often take the first chance to rush into speech themselves.
9) Refer back – Refer back to things said earlier in the conversation to show that you heard what was said.
10) Be patient – If the speaker searchers for words, speaks haltingly or pauses, allow them to complete their thoughts or sentences.
11) Empathize – Try putting yourself in their place and feel what they are feeling. If nothing else, mentally relate the other person’s experiences to your own.
12) Attitude – Above all, cultivate the attitude of wanting to listen. The better you are at listening, the more you will appreciate its benefits. In the beginning, act as if you want to listen. Thereafter once it becomes a habit, your attentiveness will show.
There you have it, 12 simple tips to answer your question on how to listen effectively. The next time you talk to someone remember these 12 tips on how to listen effectively, it will surely make the conversation more intriguing, and definitely making you more charismatic.
“ If you want to be listen to, you should put in time listening”
– Marge Piercy